My best friend is gone
After 11 years, my dog passed away. We made the decision to put him down. It was tough to see him in pain but also a very tough decision to put him down. He was in too much pain. It was time. As I type this, I’m tearing up since it’s only been a little over 24 hours and it is really hard to not think about him. I made sure I was with him until the end. He was my best friend. He always will be. He was the happiest dog and he never stopped being happy. I don’t think I will ever encounter such a great dog that provided me so much love and happiness. It was truly unconditional love.
I cry because of the good times we had. I cry because I will miss those good times. I can’t stop crying. I know time heals all but the pain of this is still unbearable at the moment. I just hope he is in a better place. I’ve taken two days off work and I’m hoping to come back and not cry at work.
The house feels quiet. No dogs are here to welcome us. My sister took care of them the most and I don’t think another dog should be adopted since it’s a lot of responsibility. I also think it is too soon to look for a replacement. I went to Toronto right after my dog died. I went to a concert to keep my mind off. The whole time I just felt numb. I drove home the next day and just cried the whole drive back.
Both dogs have also been with me during my first Ironman, my first ultra, many of my races, when I was hit by a vehicle, and several other parts of my life when I needed help and support. I will always treasure those memories with them. They truly helped me.
Reflections on what I’m doing this year
As I morn my loss, I’ve also been thinking about life and what my next moves are. I’m still studying for the LSAT but I feel like I’m not improving and it’s eating me alive. I will keep going because I know I can do it. I recently finished my first race for 2026 (Ironman San Salvador). I have now toned down the workouts. I’m doing this to shorten my training and focus on studying. I need to accelerate my main goal, the LSAT. I’ve been reflecting on this since the death of my best friend. I don’t want to be in Hamilton. I don’t want to work in my current job. I need change and it needs to happen. Why is it that when big life events happen, they make me think more deep and look for greater ambition? It’s a blessing in these dark times to be honest. Here’s what I will accomplish this year.
What I will do for 2026
- I will take the LSAT for September (whether I’m ready or not)
- 2 hours of studying weekdays (at least)
- 4 hours on weekends (sat/sun)
- Start preparing for law school applications
- I will complete an amateur 50km practice run in Sulphur springs (March 22nd) for myself.
- I will complete around the bay (30k) – April 12th
- I will complete fox trail ultra (50k) April 18th
- I will complete conquer the Canuck – 12 hour race (May 9th)
- I will complete my first 100 mile ultra (may 23)
- I will be going to NYC in June to support Lube Day (ride my bike, shop, hang out with Ezra, see family)
- I will use 1 week of my time off for Spain to compete my first registered 100km ultra.
- I will be ripped for the summer (through running) it’s happening
- I will begin working on an endurance event in Hamilton
- I will reapply to ultra man
What else happened?
I qualified for ultaman in BC but unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone who would go there to support me. I may have my sister if I qualify again next year. Other than that, I’ve shortened my goals because I’m still focused and determined to do the lsat. I finally cracked 100k on my job but the job still provides no meaning or purpose, and honestly still a very low pay. It’s not enough. My goal is make at least 1 million a year. I have to keep moving.
I’m still hungry for more, still ambitious for success, and I still want to give back to the world. I write this as a way to cope and that everything will be ok. For now, I hope you are all healthy and well.